Scarring Life
by Twistedfangirl
Summary: (High School AU) Elsa's anorexic; Eric goes to raves; Belle eats her feelings. Aurora and Phillip are just raising the children they adopted. When Elsa starts her Junior year she expects everything to be the same as the year before, but when she eats lunch with the guardians', Elsa's life goes crazy. Especially when Jack finds her secret. Warning: self-harm, eating disorder, abuse.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **HI! So when I started this I was just writing a fiction story and then my plot bunny showed up and so it became a fanfic. Now I am writing frantically because if I don't, my muse will leave and I won't write on this for two years and it will die in the deep recesses of my google drive.****

* * *

><p>Some people believe that every time something bad happens to you it uses up a small amount of your bad luck, of which you have a limited amount, therefore meaning that better things are to come. This is most definitely not the case with me. If something happens to me it is always bad and it is always one of the worst things that could happen. My parents died in a car crash when I was three and I was left with a long scar on my face that stretched from the side of my jaw to my temple. After being put in the foster care system I bounced from one house to the next, always ending up in the worst houses. The last house I was in my foster parents were arrested for drugs. I was adopted when I was 16, which was the first good thing to happen to me in my entire life. My mom, Aurora, and my dad, Phillip, had three other adopted children and were extremely nice people with a very nice house. I didn't question them adopting me; I merely relished having a permanent home, and parents who cared about more than how much they got paid to take care of me.<p>

* * *

><p>"Elsa," my birth mother's voice cooed. I turned and stared into the darkness that enfolded me. Suddenly the sound of tires screeching and my birth parent's screaming filled my ears. I cried out for them but a sharp hot pain slicing my cheek caused me to scream in pain. Sirens and voices surrounded me. One voice stood out from the rest.<p>

"Poor girls are orphans."

I shot up in bed, dripping sweat into my clean blue pillow. It was just a dream; a memory that had replayed as a dream. Well, not a real memory. My brain made up that memory. It's like when you can't remember details so your brain kindly fills in made up ones for you. A rustling came from Belle's bed across the room.

"You okay Elsa" Belle asked in a groggy voice.

"Ya," my voice cracked, "Just a nightmare." Belle sighed before another rustling signified her rolling over and going back to sleep. I listened to my adoptive sister's breathing slow before quietly slipping out of bed. My nightmares had become steadily worse and more consistent as I had gotten older; probably because there were more things to have nightmares about. I knew if I went back to sleep that I would just have another nightmare, probably about my sixth foster dad who would get blubbering drunk and lock me in the crawl space with the tarantulas. I'd hated Arizona. I slipped from my room and headed toward the back door. I hadn't a clue where I would go, I just wanted out of the house. I froze as the kitchen light turned on.

"Sneaking out again?" Eric sat on the kitchen counter, his arms folded across his chest. He still had his shoes on and I caught a whiff of what smelled suspiciously like cigarette smoke; it was that or pot, maybe even both.

"You're one to talk," I leaned against the back door, "Been out at a rave again?" Eric jumped off the table and got in my face. His pupils were dilated, meaning that he was high on something.

"Shut up," he snarled, "If you say a word..."

"Oh don't worry. If you don't tell Phillip or Aurora that I have been sneaking out at night then I won't tell them that you have a drug problem," I smirked because I knew I had him cornered.

"What are you two doing awake and fighting in the kitchen?" Tiana yawned. She was wearing her footie pyjamas and holding her stuffed frog by its green foot.

"None of your business!" I snapped at the same time as Eric said, "Go back to bed Tia." Tiana was eight years old and there was a good nine year gap between her and Eric.

"Fine then," Tiana said looking affronted, "I'll just go get Belle."

"No," I grabbed Tiana's shoulder gently, "Don't wake up Belle. She will just be pissed off and will probably tell on all of us." Tiana narrowed her eyes before nodding and stalking up the stairs. Eric tapped me on the shoulder.

"My lips are sealed," he said softly. I nodded and he walked up the stairs after his little sister. I waited until I heard both of their doors shut before opening up the back door and stepping out into the humid July night.

* * *

><p>It took me five minutes to reach the river and another five to make sure I was completely alone. I took off my shoes and waded down a little ways into the water. It was like ice rushing against my skin but I loved the feeling. I wiggled my toes in the muddy riverbed loving the squishy algae wrapping around my feet. I stood in the river until my feet were numb and my teeth chattering. I loved the cold and during the middle of August this was as close as I could get. I slowly pulled,myself from the river on clumsy feet and trudged home.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

"Did you all sleep well last night?" Aurora asked us at breakfast the next morning. I pushed my hash browns around on my plate, smearing the ketchup.

"Oh, I know I did, Mommy," Tiana gave Eric and I a pointed look. I glared at her through my bangs.

"What's with that look, Elsa?" Belle nudged me with her elbow, "You look like you are planning a murder."

"That's because she probably is," Eric sneered, "I mean have you seen her history?!" I didn't even hesitate before punching Eric square in the nose.

"Eric!" Aurora scolded. Eric rubbed his nose and muttered something under his breath about favouritism. I flipped him off when Aurora turned her back.

"My gosh!" Belle sighed loudly, "Can you two not argue or fight for more than five minutes?!" I grabbed my fork and smashed my eggs. Tiana blew bubbles in her milk with her twirly disney straw.

"Tia, what did I tell you about blowing bubbles?" Aurora said calmly without turning back to face the table. Of course, that was what Aurora noticed going on behind her back. I snickered and went to take my plate to the sink. Tiana watched me with her ever observant eyes.

"Where are you going, Elsa?" Tiana took a sip of her milk. I grinned at her.

"I'm going outside," I pulled on my sneakers.

"Who else is going to be outside, Elsa?" Eric sneered. His eyes sparked cruelly. I curled my lip.

"No one, Eric," I sneered. "Will you be going out tonight?" The again, left unspoken, hung in the air.

"Goodness, you two are very hostile this morning," Aurora said as she scooped more eggs on Eric's plate. "Elsa, did you eat anything?" I nodded and walked to the door. Aurora grabbed my arm gently. "How much?" She asked. Her face was worried. I pulled out of her grip and scratched at the scars that striped my left wrist.

"I ate a couple of bites," I said evasively. "I'm not very hungry. I ate in the middle of the night."

"She is lying," Eric said. I cursed under my breath.

"I thought so," Aurora said sadly. "Elsa, you can't keep starving yourself like this." I tugged unconsciously on my braid.

"You can't stop me," I said softly. Aurora put her hand on my shoulder and pulled me into a hug.

"Honey, if you keep doing this we will have to send you to the rehab center," Aurora said gently in my ear. "I don't want to do that." I sighed softly.

"I'll eat some eggs, but no hash browns," I flopped down at the table. Eric was staring at me with a look I didn't understand.

"Why don't you like to eat, Elsa?" Tiana asked in her sweet, innocent voice. I chased a tiny piece of scrambled egg around my plate with my spoon.

"Because I'm anorexic, Tia, and anorexics don't like to eat," I said as I put a teaspoon of scrambled eggs in my mouth. It tasted so awful and yet, a part of me screamed to eat every last bite, and then eat everyone else's egg, and then all the hash browns... I put my spoon down carefully. I could feel the eggs sliding down my throat into my hollow stomach. I wondered just how much I would have to fill my stomach up before Aurora would let me go. I needed to go outside.

"But why are you anthorexic?" Tiana asked her eyes inquisitive.

"Tia," Eric snapped, "that's like asking why I wear green shoes. It's temporary and it is not a part of who I am, but it is something that I do. There is no real reason other than I feel better in green shoes than in red shoes."

"That's because nobody likes red shoes," Belle muttered from over her empty plate. I went upstairs and grabbed a brush from our bathroom.

"Let me fix your hair, Belle," I said as I stepped behind her. She shrugged and I began brushing the tangles out of her long black hair. She was lucky her hair was so thick. I carefully dutch braided her hair back and tied off the ends.

"Don't think I haven't noticed you not eating, Elsa," Aurora said sternly. I bit my lip and sat down.

"Mom, maybe she just isn't hungry," Belle said. I nodded in agreement. Aurora frowned.

"You just want an extra helping, Belle," Aurora said. Belle huffed and started scratching her plate again with her fork. It was funny how things happened. I was anorexic and fighting recovery; Belle had a binge eating disorder and was fully embracing recovery, sort of. She had gained weight almost as fast as I lost it and now she weighed twice as much as I do, not that it was hard. Belle raised her eyebrow at me when Aurora turned back to the stove. I scooped half of my eggs onto her plate. She ate them like she was in the middle of a famine. When she swallowed the last bite I stood up.

"I ate half of my eggs," I said loudly. Eric was glaring at me but said nothing. Tiana just looked confused.

"But," Tiana started. Belle kicked her under the table and they started arguing in furious whispers.

Aurora turned around.

"Okay," she said as she took my plate. "Now you may leave." I sprinted out the back door. In the backyard I collapsed on the grass. My stomach grumbled and I groaned. If I ate one little thing it would make me hungry for everything. Often I tried to eat nothing. That would normally work unless I didn't eat for two weeks and ended up in the hospital; I speak from experience. I rolled over and began to pull up the grass in front of me. Eric sat down next to me. He and I may not get along as well as we should but we pretended we did for the sake of Aurora. Aurora wasn't around though. I stood up to leave.

"We have to leave for school in five minutes," he said just before I reached the gate out of the backyard. I paused. "And if you miss first period one more time you will lose credit."

"Fine," I hissed. "Let's go." I stalked through the house, grabbing my backpack with my nicely packed bag lunch that Aurora had put together on my way to Eric's car. I threw my backpack in the trunk and plopped myself into the passenger seat of his junky suburban. Belle sat down in the back seat.

"Who bit your tail?" she asked as she saw my face in the rearview mirror. I flipped her off and went back to sulking. Unfortunately, Eric saw the exchange. He sat down in the drivers seat and gripped the steering wheel. He pulled out of the driveway and it was a tense drive to school.

After dropping Belle at the middle school we parked behind the high school. I went to leave but Eric grabbed my wrist. Even though I knew that he knew about my scars, I still jumped and pulled away on instinct. Eric didn't even flinch; he was used to my jumpy nature. He crossed his arms and glowered at me.

"You can insult me," he began and I leaned against the car. I could tell when I was in for a lecture. "You can curse at me, hit me and lie to me, but if I ever see you insult my innocent little sisters like that again," he took a deep breath, "I will make sure Aurora and Phillip know exactly what kind of girl they adopted." He finished off in a low voice that scared me. I hated threats almost as much as the follow up. My eighth foster mom would feign hitting me or threaten to kill me all the time. I spent three months with her before I was sent to Washington where I was taken in by the worst of my foster parents. Eric walked away from the locked car, throwing his backpack over his shoulder, without a backwards glance. I shook off the bad memories before following him into the school.

* * *

><p>"If the limit of f(x), as x approaches A, is three; what is f(A)?" My calculus teacher stood at the front of the classroom waiting for an answer. Honestly, Mr. Rollello was a great teacher but I couldn't stand the pitying look he always gave me when I spoke to him. I tugged at the sleeves of my sweater, glad for the length of its sleeves. The girl next to me leaned over.<p>

"It's the middle of October!" She whispered. "How can you wear a sweater?!" I glanced at her. Her face was sincerely curious and unfamiliar. She must be new to the school. Her hair was an ombre of blue, green and yellow.

"I get cold easily," I said softly. The girl waited for a moment, as if expecting a longer reply but when none was forthcoming she turned back to the front of the room. I nibbled on the end of my sleeve. Drizella sat in the front of the room and occasionally glanced at me before leaning to her friend, whispering something and laughing. I knew they were talking about me. I was their favourite subject.

Class seemed to pass slowly and when the bell finally rang I was half asleep. I jumped at the sound and began packing my stuff. I tried to ignore the girl who stood next to my desk waiting for me to finish. I finally stood trying not to get dizzy, and failing.

"I'm Toothiana Queen by the way, but everyone calls me Tooth," she told me when i finally stood up. I glanced up at her and brushed my hair behind my ear.

"Elsa Spinner," I said softly. Why was this girl talking to me. Obviously she hadn't gotten the memo that talking to me, or even being kind to me was social suicide. I headed toward the door only to have her follow. I sighed and walked with her. She chattered on about how her parents and her moved here from India a month ago, but that she had been speaking English most of her life. I half listened as I climbed the stairs to get to my locker. I noticed the girls size, just like i have for years. She was pretty, even if she was a size ten at the least. She had curves that any guy would be foolish not to admire. I quickly looked away not wanting to give people anything else to tease me about. I only reacted when she asked me to sit with her and her friends at lunch. I stopped in shock. Just how naive was this girl.

"Look Tooth," I said, trying not to hurt the pretty seniors feelings, "I think you are a great person but I have things I have to do at lunch." Tooth frowned.

"I'm not stupid, Elsa," she said putting her hands on her hips. "I know that you sit by yourself every day in the back corner of the courtyard." I glanced away and shut my locker.

"I have to go to AP language," I muttered to myself as I headed to my English class. I sat down in my seat and glanced across the room at where Jack Overland lounged in his seat fiddling with a pen. I sighed unable to stop myself from admiring his disheveled white hair. He glanced over at me and I quickly looked away. Ariel Pacific collapsed behind me. She glanced at me and smiled as she tossed her red hair over her shoulder.

"Hey, Elsa," she said sweetly. Ariel and Eric had been dating ever since he kissed her right after she got over a bad case of laryngitis. She held out a sea shell. "Look what my father brought back from his trip to Alaska!" The small shell had a shimmery coating and seemed to change colour. "It's a piece of a clam. When used in jewelry they call it mother of pearl." I nodded and admired the shell. We both glanced at the door as Ms. Ruxwalte walked into the room. I actually payed attention in this class since otherwise I would fail.

Third period was History and I, honestly, don't wish to remember the agony of learning about the cold war. Fourth period, I had ceramics with Tooth and Jack, who I found out were good friends. I tried to ignore Jack as Tooth chattered at me. After ceramics was lunch. Once again Tooth insisted I sit with her at lunch. When Jack joined in, I knew that my arguments were pointless. I sighed and followed them out of the pottery room. I grabbed my lunch from my locker and followed them out to their table in the courtyard. I sat and listened to them talk about their classes. The Australian kid, Aster, constantly argued with Jack who merely smirked at the angry senior.

"Hey cool it, Kangaroo," he laughed. I smiled at the nickname he had given the aussie.

"Bloody show pony," Aster muttered. I laughed softly. Everyone turned to look at me causing me shut up and bite my lip. Jack broke the silence.

"Hey, you aren't mute!" He smirked and I glanced up at him with a small smile. Sandy, who actually was mute, was laughing silently at the other end of the table. When I didn't say anything else, everyone went back to what they were doing. I rolled my apple over.

"Elsa," Eric said as he sat down next to me. Ariel hung her arms over his shoulders and rested her chin on his head. She smiled at me sweetly. I sent her a small smile before glaring at my adoptive brother; What are you doing here?. He raised an eyebrow and half gestured at the uneaten lunch in front of me; _Eat your lunch, Elsa._ I turned away from him; You can't make me. "Elsa," this time his voice held a warning; _Eat it or I will have a chat with Aurora about that rehab center_. I sighed and picked up the apple; Fine, I'll take a bite. I shoved it in my mouth and took a large bite while throwing a sneer at Eric; Happy butthead. Oh it was so sweet and juicy and I wanted to eat the eat the entire thing along with a bucket of arsenic filled apple seeds and... I chewed slowly and swallowed. Eric stood up and left. Everyone had watched. I saw realization dawn in only the eyes of one; Jack Overland. He knew, oh crap, he knew; I panicked and rushed from the table. I found my feet taking my to my familiar spot under the oak and behind the old pine. I sat and took deep breaths. Jack Overland knew something was up and now he would look at me with disgust just like strangers look at me because of my scar. I thought the school was done with giving me disgusted looks. Jack would tell someone and then my life would horrid and I would have to go to the mental hospital. I began to cry softly; letting tears that hadn't flown in over a year trickle silently from my eyes.

"Elsa?" A gentle baritone voice said from behind me. I jumped and spun too quickly. My vision blurred and I swayed slightly. A cold yet warm hand touched my shoulder, steadying me. When my vision cleared, I was staring into the face of a worried Jack Overland.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I told myself I wouldn't do any authors notes. I didn't feel like putting you people through any pain. Well I never have been good at keeping my promises to myself. First what do you think? Any kind of review would be great. Even the ones where you correct grammar if you are specific about where the mistake is. Also if I don't update for six months don't panic. I write really slowly since I can't write one thing at a time. Ever.**

**I decided that Elsa needed to have the same last name as the rest of the family, which is Spinner. She was born Elsa Winters and now she is Elsa Spinner.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **

**For anyone confused:**

**Tiana - Princess and the Frog**

**Eric - Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid**

**Belle - Beauty and the Beast**

**Drizella - Cinderella**

**Aurora - Sleeping Beauty**

**Phillip - Sleeping Beauty**

* * *

><p>JACK POV<p>

"Elsa?" I said softly as I approached the crying girl. She jumped at the sound and when she spun to face me she almost fell over. I steadied her and waited for her to say something. I needed her to give me a logical explanation, anything but the truth, so I can't be responsible. But she didn't speak and I knew I was right. "Why?" I had to know. Was it different for her? Or did every girl do this for the same reason?

"W-what?" She feigned ignorance. I took my hand off of her winged shoulder. I could feel her collarbone through her thick sweater.

"I don't want to say it out loud," I hated the word. It brought memories that were better buried in the deep recesses of my mind. Elsa shook her head and didn't make eye contact.

"It's none of your business," she said, stepping away from me."You have never talked to me before today, so why are you starting now!" Her tar moistened eyes now burned with anger. "I don't need you or anyone else hanging over my shoulder and telling me to 'get better' because," she said the last part with a sneer but then her voice became so painfully small, "maybe, I don't want to." Her words scrambled at the locked doors in my memories as she quoted the voice from so long ago. Elsa turned and ran, leaving me alone.

* * *

><p>ELSA POV<p>

"Maybe, I don't want to," I said so softly I wondered if he even heard me. I turned and left the spot I had long considered safe. I didn't know I was looking for someone until I ran into them. Eric grabbed my arm and helped me back up to my feet. He stared at me, taking in my tear streaked face and my red eyes.

"I swear, that if Ursula did this to you..." his threat died off as I shook my head. Ariel was already next to me hugging me and stroking my hair. She really was too good a person for Eric.

"I was sitting with the Guardians..." I told him as we walked to the edge of the hall.

"Those goody-two-shoes hall monitors?" He asked with raised eyebrows. I nodded.

"The girl with the neon hair, Tooth, invited me and I felt bad saying no. I was sitting with them and Jack Overland was there arguing with the australian kid in your year..."

"Aster Bunnymund?" He interrupted me again.

"That's what Tooth called him. Anyway you came and did the whole thing with apple and everyone was staring but only jack seemed to realize what had really been going on." I took a deep breath before continuing on. "He followed me when I ran off and tried to confront me about it but instead I yelled at him that he has never cared about me before and that I don't want to get better!" I burst into tears as I pushed my face into Ariel's thick hair. Eric gave me a moment before pulling me from Ariel's arms. He looked me in the eye.

"Jack Overland is nothing but a class clown who always needs a bath," he told me. I frowned; I thought Jack smelled like the river, which is a pleasant smell. "He won't tell anyone because he is too caught up in himself to care. You are fine and you are not required to tell anyone that you don't want to." I nodded and Eric smiled.

"Thanks," I mumbled. Eric looked at Ariel over my shoulder who was giving him a sappy smile. I slipped away with a wave before they started making out right then and there.

* * *

><p>Tooth was in my fifth period. She twittered to me like nothing had happened through most of chemistry. It wasn't until we started on the lab that she said anything of importance.<p>

"Where did you and Jack go during lunch?" She asked nonchalantly as she filled the test tube with the red 40.

"I went to the library," I tried to keep my voice steady as I filled the cuvette with water. "Did Jack leave too?" Conceal it, don't feel. I calibrated the mass spectrometer.

"Ya, he ran after you," Tooth told me as she rinsed the cuvette three times and then filled it with the red 40.

"I didn't notice him," I placed the cuvette in mass spec and measured the wavelengths. Tooth and I didn't speak for the rest of the period and I was relieved when the bell rang. I packed up quickly and ran quickly to my sixth period. I had decided to take an online class in norwegian. Needless to say it was really hard. Taking a language online is hard enough. Taking Norwegian online was almost killing me. Unfortunately, Jack was taking an online class as well. When he walked into the computer lab he made a beeline for me and sat down.

"What class is that?" He asked. That was not the question I was expecting.

"Norwegian?" I said the word like a question. Jack raised an eyebrow.

"Why the heck would you want to take Norwegian?" He scoffed. Why the heck are you pretending you didn't find out that I have a major eating disorder an hour and a half ago? I smiled mysteriously and turned back to my computer.

"I'm taking meteorology." He said it like it was such a cool thing to take. I raised an eyebrow this time.

"Why the heck would you take meteorology?" I mimicked. Jack leaned close to me.

"Why the heck would you starve yourself?" He asked in a dead serious voice. I wished he was dead.

"I don't have to tell you," I snarked. Don't feel, Don't feel. Jack stared at me for another moment.

"Okay," he said as he turned and logged onto his class. I stared at him with my eyes narrowed in suspicion before I nodded and tried to remember the Norwegian word for five.

When sixth ended, Jack walked away without a word to me. I walked slowly to my seventh period, health. I pulled out my notebook and spent the entire period ignoring the teacher as he blabbed on about mental, physical, and social health.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**Ya, I couldn't think of a cool class for Jack to be taking, so he is taking meteorology. But hey, he does make it snow...**


	4. Chapter 4

Eric and I got in a fight after school while Aurora had gone to pick up Tiana. Somehow I ended up backed against a wall while we yelled at each other over who was going to do the dishes. When the door opened we both watched as Aurora ushered the eight year old into the room. Tiana saw the two of us and grinned. The argument was forgotten in the presence of the bossy child.

"Elsa!" She squealed before running over and hugging me. I hugged her back.

"Hey, Tia!" I laughed as I hugged my adoptive sister. "How was third grade?" I asked. Tia launched into a detailed description of how Naveen and Louis had chased her around the playground, and how she had called Naveen some mean names, because she secretly liked him and thats what you do when you like someone. She said that Ray got hurt because Facilier had pushed him off the monkey bars. I laughed at all the right moments, looked worried, angry, and swore vengeance for poor Ray.

"Ray was fine," Tiana laughed. "He and Evangeline went to play basketball with his older brother."

"That's good," I said. Tiana went to say something but it turned to a squeal as Eric picked her up began tickling her on the couch. I laughed before going to find Belle who had gone and holed up in our room with a stack of books. I knocked on the door and opened it. She lay on her bed reading Arabian Nights while snacking on Cheetos. I took the Cheetos with a sigh. This got her attention.

"Hey!" She cried as she sat up.

"You're not allowed chips and you know it," I told her as I crushed the Cheetos and tossed the bag in her trashcan. Her eyes read murder. "You're supposed to be getting better, Belle," I reminded her. Belle sighed and scooted over so I could sit next to her.

"So are you," she reached over and poked my overly sharp elbow. I glanced away and Belle let out a sigh.

"How was school?" I asked trying to break the tension.

"There is a new girl in my history class," she suddenly got excited. "Her name is Anna and she is in the system still." She got quiet at that thought. I was trying not to show my panic. Anna? Here? The last time we saw each other was in Washington. Why was she here? "Anna has the prettiest strawberry blonde hair and she braids it herself!" Belle went on. I nodded distractedly. "She is going to come over to hang out tomorrow! I can't wait for you to meet her. She is always so cheerful!" Belle laughed. "She has a scar to! It's on her arm! She said she got it when her parents died in a car accident when she was really little." I stood up abruptly.

"I got to go," I muttered and dashed from the room. Aurora called my name but I ignored her and just kept running. By the time I reached the river, I could hardly stand, and I felt very weak. I needed to eat or I would end up in the hospital soon. I grimaced at the thought. I ran my hands over each tree until I found the one I needed. A tall birch with a snowflake carved into it. I dug directly below the snowflake and pulled a plastic bag from the dirt. I very carefully pulled a sharp razor blade from the bag and fingered the edge with my fingers, relishing the sharpness.

"Elsa?!" I shoved the razor back in the bag and dropped it into it's hole. I turned around and saw Jack staring at me. He had his backpack on and was carrying a duffle bag.

"J-Jack!" I stuttered. I filled in the hole behind my back. Jack wasn't stupid, he would know I was hiding something. I would have to move my blades. I cursed his awkward habit of showing up at all the wrong times.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked as he dropped his duffle bag and backpack. I scooted back so I was sitting over the hole.

"I like to come to the river. It helps me clear my mind," I told him. He plopped down on the ground next to me.

"I know the feeling. The river is the only place where I feel safe," he fingered a muddy stone. I could feel the moist dirt beneath me soaking my pants. I nodded in agreement, my arms tingling in anticipation of meeting the blades beneath me. I needed Jack to leave.

"Look, Jack…" Elsa started but Jack held up his hand.

"No, I understand. You came to be alone," he grinned like the Cheshire cat, mischievous and toothy. I faked a smile as I nodded and watched him walk away. I waited until he was completely out of sight before I pulled the bag out of the whole in the ground. I needed to move them closer to the river where the trees are thicker.

I walked through the trees until I was hidden from both the path and the river. Carefully I sat down on a fallen tree and pulled a razor blade from the bag. I pulled up the sleeve of my sweater and gently placed the blade against the soft underside of my wrist. With a slash, I opened a cut in my wrist. I had to keep these quite shallow so they would stop bleeding quickly. I repeated the process thrice more before I felt the anxiety trickle from my system with the blood. I held my bleeding wrist out, away from my body, so that the blood wouldn't drip on my clothes and leave stains for Aurora to find. I didn't need to go to the mental institute but Aurora would see these wounds as my ticket in. When the bleeding stopped, I wiped any blood that hadn't fully congealed from my arm and pulled my sleeve down. I wiped the blood off of the blade and placed it back in the bag with the others. I found a tree that I knew that I would be able to find again, buried the blades underneath it and carved a delicate snowflake into the bark. I took a deep breath before turning to go home knowing that I would have to face a frantic Aurora when I got there.

* * *

><p>"Where have you been?!" Aurora almost yelled when I walked into the house. I pulled my sleeves down around my hands, hoping desperately that no blood was showing.<p>

"At the river," I said slowly. Aurora was angry but I could see the intense worry in her eyes. Eric walked down the stairs.

"You ran out of the house like there was a gorilla chasing you without a word of explanation," Aurora took a deep breath. "Do you have any idea how worried I was?" I shook my head and examined my feet, my breath catching at the single drop of blood that stood out starkly on the white tip of my converse. I stepped on my toe to hide it.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. Aurora let out a sigh as she pulled me into a hug. When she finally let go I muttered something about going to the restroom before escaping up the stairs past a confused Eric.

I rushed into the bathroom and locked the door. I let out a sigh as I turned on the water in the sink and pulled up the sleeves of my sweater. I gently washed the blood from my arms, watching it turn a red orange in the water. The water stung and two of the cuts reopened causing me to have to wait until it stopped bleeding, again. I found some butterfly bandages in the cupboard and carefully treated each wound before pulling my sleeves back down. When I left the bathroom it was like nothing had happened, until Belle grabbed my wrist sending a wave of pain up my arm. I flinched and a gasp escaped my lips causing Belle to stare at me in confusion. I peeled her fingers of my wrist silently begging that none of the cuts had started bleeding again. Of course I'm about as lucky as a black cat and could feel the blood welling up.

"I need to talk to you," Belle said as she gestured to our room. I stepped toward the bathroom.

"I just need to grab something," I said before once again locking myself in the bathroom. I wrapped my wrists in gauze and headed into our room. I moved a stack of books and sat down on her bed next to her.

"Did I ever tell you about my older brother?" Belle asked in a quiet voice. She sounded so terribly vulnerable and small; I wanted to hug her and remind her that her days in foster care are forever over. Something that I myself could hardly believe. I shook my head and Belle took a deep breath. "My mother died giving birth to me and my father committed suicide two years later. Siblings rarely if ever stay together in the foster system, so me and my five year old brother were separated. My homes were decent, none of the parents were ever abusive but I know that the last home Derrick was in was not a good one.

"I got a letter from my social worker and somehow or another my six year old mind knew that the letter would make me cry," tears were slipping from Belle's eyes but she refused to stop telling her story. "Derrick had been in an accident. His foster dad had been driving drunk. The man lived, barely, but he lived. Derrick didn't though. He went into a coma and stayed that way for six months before being taken off life support." I wrapped my arms around my adoptive sister and roommate.

"It's okay, Belle," I muttered reassuringly. Belle finally composed herself and she looked me in the eye with an intense, piercing gaze.

"Anna said that she has a sister that was in the system too," Belle said cautiously. I kept my face blank. Conceal, don't feel, don't feel. "Elsa, what happened?" I shook my head and gripped my wrist. I squeezed the wound relishing the pain, needing the pain.

"None of your business," I said through my teeth. Conceal, don't feel, don't feel, don't feel, don't feel. Belle frowned at me.

"Elsa, you can't hide everything," she whispered, "you'll explode." I was digging into my wrist so deep I could feel the blood seeping through the bandages.

"I need to go," I said as I stood. Belle grabbed my wrist and I flinched.

"Elsa," Belle said softly, "You need to let it go." I snapped.

"No. I. Don't," I yelled. "I don't have to tell you anything. I don't have to tell you about the sister I abandoned." I glowered at Belle for a moment before realizing what I said and bursting into tears.


	5. Chapter 5

I ran from the room. I ran from the shock on Belle's face. I ran from my guilt, from my shame. Eric grabbed my upper arm as I ran by stopping me from returning to the river and my blades. I composed myself, shoving my emotions into the vault in the back of my mind. Conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show. Eric frowned.

"Why were you crying?" he asked in an almost forceful manner. I forced a half smile to my face.

"A sad novel," I lied. "The guy dies of his cancer that came back after he had been in remission and fallen madly in love with the girl." Eric rolled his eyes.

"I will never understand you women, with your unreasonable emotions," he grumbled.

"Says the boy who hides his emotions behind a wall of pot and ecstasy," I spoke as if we were discussing the daily news. Eric scowled deeper.

"Whatever," he shook his head. "Ariel, Max and I were going to go out on a double date tonight. Max wanted me to ask you if you would go with him." I tilted my head in confusion.

"Max is the one with grey and white dreadlocks," I said slowly. Eric nodded. I considered the idea for a moment. It wasn't the idea of going out with Max that was desirable; the boy always smelled of pot and was on a perpetual high causing him to bounce around Eric like a dog. The desirable thing was getting to spend more time with Ariel. She was always so happy it seemed. She wore her heart, not exactly on her sleeve, but she sure didn't hide her emotions. I wish I was in a state of mind to do that. If I didn't hide how I felt all the time, I would be in a constant state of mental breakdown.

"Well?" Eric tapped his foot and crossed his arms. How he and Ariel fit together I couldn't tell, but she loved him wholeheartedly.

"What would we be doing?" I asked cautiously. If we would be going out to dinner it would be a definitive no-go but if it was a movie, I could handle that, just no popcorn.

"We are going to a party on Arabian way. It's at Aladdin Ababua's house. The sophomore that is after Jafar's girlfriend Jasmine.

"I honestly think that Jasmine should go for him. Jafar is a douche," I told him with a mischievous grin. Eric didn't even crack a smile. I sighed.

"Let me guess it's a traditional beginning of the school year party,"

"Two months late," Eric interrupted.

"with beer, pot and sex." I finished. Eric smirked.

"I don't like them any other way," he said. I rolled my eyes mostly out of annoyance at my lack of social life. I had absolutely no legitimate reason to not go except for the fact that I didn't like Max much (I don't think he showers on a regular basis) and the fact that I was scared of being in a house with that many people. Eric tilted his head and sighed. "You don't have to go if you don't want to. Max can third-wheel it. Goodness knows he does it all the time."

"No, I'll go!" I said quickly. Why am I such a nice person? "Tell Max I'll come as long as he doesn't touch me."

"Paranoid much?" he laughed. I glowered at him but he merely turned away. "We will leave at seven. Aurora thinks we are going to a movie." Eric bounded up the stairs leaving me alone in the kitchen. I could hear the fridge behind me and my stomach growled with longing.

"Shut up," I muttered and walked to the T.V. room. Phillip sat at his desk with his laptop and papers surrounding him.

"Hello Elsa," he said in a tired voice. Phillip was the manager of a law firm downtown and they worked him to the bone. The man was always working, leaving little time for him to fuss over the four children he had adopted with his 'one true love', A.K.A. Aurora.

"Hi," I said as I flopped onto the old leather sofa. I heard a loud bark and our dog rushed into the room barking madly. "Hey, Doug!" I said as he jumped on the couch and began nudging my arm desperately. He sat up and barked before flopping over and letting his tongue loll out of his mouth. I watched Spongebob on the muted T.V. as I scratched Doug's belly absently. Phillip sighed and turned to me.

"What's up, Elsa?" He asked. I could tell he was stressed, and I hated to add to his stress but, unlike Aurora, Phillip didn't freak out when a problem surfaced.

"I'm going to a party with Max, Eric and Ariel tonight," I tried to make it sound like it was a normal thing, like his adoptive daughter wasn't some seriously screwed up teenager who was scared of being touched by strangers. Phillip narrowed his eyes.

"One of Eric's parties or Ariel's?" He asked with suspicion. I scratched at Doug's ears making him smile in his dorky way.

"Eric's," I told him.

"That boy has a problem," Phillip shook his head. I shrugged and stroked Doug's ears. "I don't know how he got Ariel to date him? Or why he dates her?"

"I think it has something to do with her resuscitating him in a back alley when he was passed out, and him still kissing her even when she couldn't speak because of her laryngitis," I snarked. Phillip rolled his eyes with disgust.

"I think it won't last," he said.

"You don't see them at school. They eat each others faces," I told him. We sat there in an awkward silence for a moment.

"What did you really come to tell me?" Phillip asked, his eyes worried but not pained as anyone else's would be. I took a deep breath before pulling my sleeve up, revealing the three gauze wrapped wounds on my right arm. Phillip frowned deeply.

"You said this wouldn't happen again," Phillip said as he laced his fingers together. I looked away and pulled my sleeve back down.

"It wasn't supposed to," I mumbled. "Please don't tell Aurora." Phillip examined me for a few moments before nodding.

"This is the last time," he warned. "If it happens again, I will have to tell her." I nodded. I knew it would be this way. The only reason I ever told Phillip was because I had to tell someone. If I didn't I would surely explode.

We left after dinner. I felt so out of place when Ariel got in the car with her half t-shirt and mini cut off jeans.

"Hey, Elsa!" she said in her characteristically chipper voice. She and Eric shared a long kiss before we headed over, picked up Max and then drove to the party. I smiled at Max when he got in the car and he gave me a goofy grin. It wasn't that I really disliked Max; you just can't dislike the eager kid. He just didn't bathe as often as he should and it's really hard not to react to that. He always smelled like a wet dog. I tugged on the sleeves of my sweater and crossed my legs. It was too warm in Eric's car.

"You're looking pale, Elsa," Max cocked his head at me. "Are you okay?" I glanced at him and nodded. I felt his hand brush against mine and reared back.

"Don't touch me!" I snarled. Max blinked in surprise at my reaction.

"You're really cold, Elsa," Max's voice was full of worry and I tried to get my anxiety under control.

"I'm fine just a little chilled," I assured in a strained voice. I glanced in the rearview mirror and found Eric watching me. "Something wrong, Eric?" I snapped. He rolled his eyes before focusing on the road.

I could hear the music from the car when we pulled up to the house. People were strolling around the mansion and shadows in the bushes made me suspect that some people were doing a little more than chatting. Only a little. I rolled my eyes and got out of the car.

"It's so cold out tonight!" Ariel said with a shiver. I glanced over as Eric wrapped his arms around her small waist and muttered something in her ear that made her smile. I turned away and followed Max up the path to the house. Inside it was dark except for the black light and glare of cell phones. It smelled of cigarettes and if I looked hard enough I could see smoke gathering on the ceiling. I followed Max to the kitchen where there was someone filling cups with various alcoholic beverages.

"What do you want, Elsa?" Max asked with a grin as he grabbed a firewhiskey.

"Orange juice and vodka," I said, probably a little too quickly. Max raised an eyebrow and before shrugging and telling the kid behind the counter. I took a sip of my drink after Max handed it to me, cringing slightly at the distinct taste of the harsh liquor. I preferred it with more orange juice but either way. After I had finished off two drinks Max gestured toward the dance floor. The pleasant buzz in my head made me forget my dislike of physical contact as I followed Max onto the dance floor. It took me a moment to find the right rhythm but soon I was swinging my hips and grinding with someone. I thought briefly that it might have been another girl.

After my fourth cup of the orange vodka I was stumbling and giggling hysterically. Max ran off at some point with one of Ella's step-sisters. I thought it was Anastatia but one can never be sure with the Tremaine twins. I found myself sitting alone in a back corner.

"Elsa?" A male voice said in slight confusion. I looked up and saw the blurry outline of a gangly guy with white hair. I giggled as it occurred to ,me that this was Jack and I was drunk.

"Hi Jack," I said as I tried to smile seductively. I ended up giggling madly instead.

"You are really drunk," he muttered as he pulled me too my feet.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I have never been drunk. I have never interacted with anyone who was drunk and therefore have almost no idea how to write a person who is drunk. Just needed to through that out there as a safety net for the next chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6

JACK POV

"You are really drunk," I muttered, unable to believe the fact fully. I pulled Elsa to her feet and began to pull her towards the stairs. I had planned my visit to this stupid party so clearly. Come, have a drink, take a shower, leave. Now, with Elsa stumbling along behind me, taking a shower would be a whole lot harder. I briefly considered whether or not she would remember this in the morning before shaking my head. Even if she didn't remember, it would still be wrong to take her with me into the bathroom. I glanced at her drunken expression, she would probably try and join me. I knew Elsa would not come to a party like this alone so quickly searched for her drug addicted brother. This isn't the kind of party he would miss.

After searching for five minutes and denying Elsa's request for another drink, I found Eric shirtless and superglued to a topless Ariel. Quickly averting my eyes from the scene I decided that as affable as Eric could be, the guy had a fuse as long as my income, in other words, nearly nonexistent, and therefore I shouldn't interrupt him from his... pleasure. I pulled Elsa behind me as I left the room and began to climb the stairs. I walked into the first open bedroom and was delighted to find that it had an adjoining bathroom. I locked the door behind us before sitting Elsa down on the bed.

"Elsa," I said slowly as I had her face me, "I need you to stay right here, okay?" She nodded and rubbed her forehead. I sighed in relief before heading into the bathroom to shower.

As I stepped into the hot water I chuckled. How long had it been since I had showered or even bathed in warm water? I think it had been almost two weeks when I showered at Aster's. I quickly washed and rinsed before stepping out and getting dressed. I threw my shirt over my shoulder and was using a towel to dry my long white hair when I stepped out to see Elsa examining herself in front of the full length mirror on the closet.

* * *

><p>ELSA POV<p>

I stood examining my hips in the full length mirror on the closet as Jack walked out of the bathroom. In my drunken state every emotion was shown clearly on my face, so that sight of his well formed torso made me almost collapse to the floor. I turned slowly and found myself blatantly staring at his bare chest. He had a well defined for pack and those lines that guys get off of their hips when they are muscular. Jack smirked.

"Like what you see?" He gibed. I drug my eyes up to his frost blue eyes. My head nodded before I could think about it making Jack blink in surprise for a moment before busting up laughing. He threw the wet towel on the bed and pulled his hoodie on before sauntering over to me. I could see water glistening on his arms and hair. It took all my thoughts to get me to not kiss him right then and there.

"Ya loo' hot," I slurred out. Jack raised an eyebrow. That's right, I'm still drunk and I'm going to have a killer headache tomorrow. I stumbled to the bed and sat down.

"I'm going to drive you home," Jack said slowly, a strange expression on his face. If I didn't know better I would say it was gentle frustration. I tried to stand again only for my stomach to suddenly twist violently. I cursed as I dashed into the bathroom and my stomach began vehemently expelling it's contents into the toilet. Jack followed me in and held my hair back as I vomited. When I finally stopped, I was throwing up bile and sobbing. I stood on wobbly legs and walked to the sink where I began rinsing my mouth. I did this anytime I purged but there is a huge difference in forcing myself to puke and not being able to stop puking. I checked myself in the mirror and found that thankfully, no vomit had splattered on my sweater. Jack stood and watched this with a face of worry mixed with confusion. I took a deep breath as I dried my tears and turned to him.

"Are you still willing to drive me home," I asked softly. Jack nodded as he walked over to the bathroom door.

"Can you walk by yourself?" He asked gently. I nodded even though I probably couldn't. Vodka mixed with having just thrown up my guts was not a good mixture. I took a step only to have my legs buckle. Jack reached out and quickly caught me in his wiry arms. "No you can't dork," he teased. It occurred to me that he was probably just trying to lighten the mood but not before my mouth protested.

"I am not a dork," I mumbled as he picked me up bridal style. I found myself snuggled against his cool chest before drifting off, utterly exhausted.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: That's right, two chapters in one day. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: FINALLY I got this written. I honestly thought I would never get this done. This one is just developing Jack as a character mostly.**

* * *

><p>JACK POV<p>

I carried Elsa out to my car and buckled her in before running back inside. I found Eric in the same place wrapped in a blanket with Ariel. He glanced at me a look of disgust on his face. I internally prepared myself.

"Elsa passed out, so I'm going to drive her home," I said it like it was no big deal, trying not to anger the overprotective senior.

"If you hurt her," Eric started but I quickly interrupted him.

"I won't do anything to her that I wouldn't do to my own sister," I said quickly. _Would have done_ I corrected in my head. Eric narrowed his eyes before nodding slowly.

"Don't think this is some sort of blessing upon you dating my sister Overland," Eric told me. I nodded before walking away. I sat down in the drivers seat of the car and glanced over at the sleeping beauty in my passenger seat. _Where did that come from, Jackie_? I shook my head as I started the car and put it in gear. I don't know why I still had the car. It sucked up any money i could save with gas and it was barely more than a rusty hunk of metal that hinted that it might have been red at one point. I drove to the main road before realizing that I had no idea where Elsa lived.

"Way to think things through, Jack," I muttered to myself as I pulled into a parking lot off of Burgess Avenue. I watched Elsa breathe for a moment. She was smiling in her sleep and I was reluctant to wake her. With a sharp sigh I reached over and shook her gently. Elsa blinked awake and stared at me for a moment with unfocused eyes.

* * *

><p>ELSA POV<p>

I blinked awake and stared at Jack until my eyes focused. I sat up slowly and looked around. His car sat in an empty parking lot. My mind immediately started throwing out the worst case scenarios and I cringed away from him nervously. Jack put his arms out in front of him to show he meant no harm.

"I'm driving you home remember," he prompted gently. I nodded as the past two hours flooded back into my head. Including the stuff I did on the dance floor. I felt disgusted with myself and swore to add three extra scars to my wrist as punishment the next time I cut. "I need to know your address, Elsa," he cocked his head at my expression. I composed myself and forced a tired smile.

"1937 Segovia Dr," I said, hoping I sounded much more confident than I felt. My head was starting to throb and I was doubly regretting all the vodka I'd drank. I lay a hand on my stomach, wondering how many pounds I would gain this time. Aurora would disapprove of the drinking but would be delighted at my next weigh in to find that I had gotten one step closer to 'health'. We were silent for a moment as Jack drove.

"Doesn't Sonya White live on Segovia?" he suddenly asked. I frowned at the thought of the naive eighth grader.

"Ya," I answered. "She has a class with Belle." Jack's pulled his eyebrows together.

"Wait isn't she, like ten," he said in confusion. I nodded.

"Ya, one would think," I laughed quietly. "Everyone knows the girl is half insanely naive. She still wishes on wells, stars, lamps… that and she has no clue what is wrong with living with seven grown men." Jack busted up laughing.

"I didn't know you had a sense of humor, Elsie," he glanced at me with a smile. I stiffened and looked out the window.

"Don't call me that," I said in a strangled voice. I could feel Jack glance at me.

"I'm sorry?" He said it as more of a question than an apology, and I knew what the real question was. _What do you have against Elsie?_

"What's wrong with Elsie?" he sounded confused. It made sense; there was no way he could know that Elsie was what number 14 called me when he was drunk and told me to go sit on his bed where he would… I flinched away from the thought.

"I just don't like it," I spoke in a voice so soft that I was amazed that Jack could understand me. He must have heard something in my voice because he nodded.

"Okay, El," he smiled. I half smiled. I could deal with 'El'. By the time we arrived at the house I had drifted back to sleep.

* * *

><p>JACK POV<p>

"Okay, El" I smiled at the withdrawn girl. I could see the small that graced her lips and almost swerved at the beauty of it. I decided that I wanted to see that smile again. By the time I pulled up to her house, she was asleep again. I really didn't want to wake her, so instead I picked her up and carried her to the door. I pressed the doorbell with my elbow and waited for the door to open. It swung open to reveal a small eight year old girl.

"Who are you?" she said with suspicion. I put on my best smile.

"I am the man that brought your sister home from the movie," I said smoothly. "Is your mom here?" I decided I should probably talk to Elsa's mom since it was already pretty weird for me to have brought home her unconscious daughter. The little girl ran off to fetch her mother and I stepped into the entryway. A tall woman with yellow blonde hair with a slightly panicked look rushed into the room and froze at the sight of me holding Elsa.

"Hi Mrs. Spinner," I greeted her. "I'm Jack Overland." Mrs. Spinner blinked at me for a moment before deciding that I wasn't dangerous.

"Hi Jack," she walked over to me. "Oh dear," she gazed at the sleeping Elsa. "Did she pass out?" she asked Jack.

"No, she just fell asleep," he reassured. "Eric asked me to drive her home while he and Ariel…" Jack glanced to the left, "while they went to a park." Jack disliked lying to Mrs. Spinner but he also wasn't going to tell her that her son was drunk and having sex with his girlfriend behind a water heater. Mrs. Spinner narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

"As long as Eric is back by curfew," she said. She watched the skeletal blonde in my arms sleep for a moment before she let out a sigh. "Tiana!" she called and the small girl rushed back into the room dragging a stuffed frog behind her. "Will you take Jack up to Elsa's room?" Tiana nodded and ran up the stairs. I followed after a moments pause followed her up.

In Elsa's room a girl, who I assumed was Belle, lay on her bed reading. Belle looked up as I walked into the room and her eyes grew enormous at the sight of her older sister in my arms.

"What did you do?" she asked. I raised an eyebrow at the girl's automatic assumption that this was my fault.

"She fell asleep during the movie and Eric asked me to bring her home," I snarked. Belle rolled her eyes as she lovingly closed her book and placed it on her pillow.

"That's code for Eric and Ariel were getting it on in a corner and Elsa passed out right?" she said it like this kind of thing happened every evening. I narrowed my eyes for a moment before nodding.

"I had to ask him and saw _way_ too much of both of them," I walked over to the other bed in the room and tried to pull back the covers without dropping the feather light girl. Belle scoffed at my clumsy efforts as she walked over and pulled the down comforter and the fleece blanket down so I could put Elsa in her bed. Seeing her small form on the bed made me suddenly feel so protective. I had the urge to climb in the bed with her and hold her close to me so she wouldn't be cold. Belle nudged my arm.

"Are you going to watch her sleep too," she asked, "because I won't let you sit here all night." I jumped and felt warmth flood my cheeks.

"'course I'm not staying!" I laughed. "I have things to do, people to see!" I grinned, hoping to ease some of the awkward tension in the room. Belle just stared at me, unimpressed.

"Of course because you are so important," she snarked before walking back to her bed. I rolled my eyes. _She needs to lighten up._ I walked out of the room and back down the stairs. After saying goodbye and heading out to my car, I didn't drive off for another few minutes. I sat lost in thought for a few moments, confused at why I didn't want to leave. It was almost like I wanted to stay near the beautiful, cold girl that I had carried inside.


	8. Chapter 8

ELSA POV

When I woke the next morning, I felt like I had a rhinoceros horn growing from my head. I sat up and immediately collapsed back to my bed with a groan. Belle walked into the room with a towel on her head.

"Finally you're awake doofus," Belle said. I grimaced but otherwise didn't respond. "Are you okay, El?" Belle walked over and tilted her head in worry.

"My head hurts," I groaned turning away from the light above my head.

"I'll ask Aurora for some Excedrin after I get dressed," Belle said walking over to her dresser and pulling out some clothes.

"Mostly I just want water," I groaned as I sat up slowly. My head began to pound and I grimaced in pain. Belle pulled her size 20 jeans on and buttoned them up.

"Elsa," she said excitedly, "My jeans are loose!" I glanced over to see her grinning ear to ear.

"That's great Belle!" I said with as much energy as I could. "You have come a long way." She smiled and gave me a hug.

"I have, haven't I," she stepped away and her face became contemplative.

"You seem to not even try, though," she said softly. I closed my eyes with a sigh.

"Elsa, what happened?" Belle sat on the side of my bed.

"Go away, Belle," I mumbled, "I have a headache." The bed shifted as Belle stood and the door clicked shut. I felt a tear slip down my cheek as memories assaulted my sore brain.

* * *

><p>FLASHBACK<p>

I was ten years old.

I slipped from my room and into the kitchen, hoping to be able to get an ice cube to cool off from the Arizona heat. I dragged my hand along the cool wall, carefully avoiding the creaky floorboards as I walked. I held my breath as I opened the creaky freezer door and reached in for an ice cube.

"Wa' are ya doin'," sixth slurred from the doorway. I jumped turning to face my drunken foster father.

"I'm getting an ice cube, sir," I said hiding the fear that made my fingers want to clench into fists.

"Did I tell ya' what ya' that ya' could," Skanda asked.

"No, sir," I swallowed at the crack in my voice. Skanda stood and grabbed my short blonde hair. Aunt Sarah had all my hair off when I came to her because she told me she didn't want to deal with it. Skanda began to drag me to the cellar door. I panicked and tried to pull away but stilled as he snarled. The light glanced off the scar that crossed his left eye that had him unable to see from it.

"This'll teach ya' fir bein' rude, ya oversensitive child," he swayed and shoved me into the cellar. I stumbled and fought back a sob as he slammed the door. The darkness closed around me and I sat down carefully on the top step. I clutched at my knees trying to ignore the sound of skittering spiders that filled the cold room.

STILL IN FLASHBACK

I was only eleven years old.

"Elsa!" Ten yelled as he fixed his bowtie. I rushed from the kitchen where I had been cooking an egg to eat.

"Yes, Edgar," I didn't look him in the eye as I stared at the ground, trying to look submissive.

"Call me, Mr. Balthazar, wench," he growled. I nodded.

"I apologize, Mr. Balthazar," I kept my features carefully emotionless. Not letting him know just how nervous I was.

"Whatever," he straightened his suit coat before turning to me. "I am having some friends over and I don't want them to know you exist." I nodded.

"Do you want me to do anything to get the house ready for them before they arrive," I said to his shoes.

"No just go to your room," he waved his hand dismissively, "I don't want to see your useless face again until tomorrow."

"Yes, Mr. Balthazar," I said as I headed back to the kitchen to grab my breakfast before going and sitting in my room where I was alone for the next twenty four hours.

_STILL IN FLASHBACK_

I was twelve.

Gothel stood in front of the full length mirror in the front room primping her hair. I stood next to her, examining myself. She glanced at me through the mirror and her mouth narrowed.

"You're looking a little chubby there, Elsa," she said nonchalantly, like it was something she said often..

"I do?" I asked quietly. She laughed.

"I'm just kidding, darling, don't take everything so seriously," she pinched my cheek as she walked by. I stared into the mirror and found my eyes drawn to the way my stomach bulged out slightly over my size eight jeans.

STILL IN FLASHBACK

I was thirteen

Then wind howled outside with the thunderstorm crashing outside. I suddenly found myself wishing that I was living in one of the smaller apartment buildings instead of on the fifteenth floor. Of course I currently wished I lived anywhere but here. My fingers strayed to my collar bone. It had become more prominent since I had cut down on my calorie intake and I couldn't help but smile at the thought.

"What are you smiling about?" thirteenth grumbled. I flinched, curling into a tighter ball as Shan walked into the room. The tall mongolian man glared at me cruelly.

"Nothing," I murmurred. Shan huffed.

"What did you say?" he reached down and pulled me up by my short braid.

"Nothing," I said in a monotone voice. _Conceal it, conceal it_. Shan threw me across the room. I let out a gasp as I hit the floor and this seemed only to anger him more.

"Did that hurt, you insolent woman?" He kicked me in the stomach and the wind rushed from my lungs. Sometimes I felt like the anticipation of the blow hurt more than the blow itself as he beat me relentlessly until I passed out.

_STILL IN FLASHBACK_

I am fourteen.

The front door slammed open and Gaston stumbled into the kitchen.

"Where are you, Elsie?" he grinned. I pulled myself further into the corner behind the piano, hoping desperately that he wouldn't see me. I shrieked as his overly large hands closed around my arm and he dragged me into the center of the room. I struggled and pulled from his grip, running toward the front door. He reached out and grabbed the back of my sweater and pulled me right up against him.

"Going somewhere, Elsie?" he growled into my ear. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and whimpered struggling against his grip.

"Please not today," I begged, "Please!" He laughed and dragged me toward the only bedroom.

"Your begging only makes me want you more," he said as he threw me on the bed. I sobbed as he hurt me again and again.

FLASHBACK END

* * *

><p>I pulled myself out of the memories screaming and Aurora rushed into the room. She tried to calm me with a gentle touch to my shoulder but this only made the memories worse. She pulled away quickly and called for Phillip before turning back to me.<p>

"Elsa," she said gently, "you're okay. You are safe." I bit down on the scream and sucked air desperately through my nose. Tears streaked my face and I was shaking uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry," I stuttered, trying to get my heart to slow.

"What happened, Elsa," she asked in the same soft, gentle voice. I felt a sob working it's way up my throat.

"Hell," I whispered. Aurora's eyes widened as she registered what I said.

"Oh, Elsa," she said, tears gathering along her lower lashes. She slowly leaned in for a hug and I found myself sobbing into her shoulder.

"I h-hated them-m," I found myself saying between sobs. "E-each an-and ev-very one."

"Who?" Aurora asked.

"My foster parents."

"Why do you hate them?"

"They hurt me," I whispered. "Whether it was physically, emotionally or… or…" I couldn't force the word out but I could that Aurora knew what I was going to say by how she tightened her hold on me. I sobbed into her shoulder until my tears were gone and I was exhausted.

"Do you need some time to spend alone?" she asked as she pulled away. I shook my head quickly and was reminded of my roaring headache.

"Don't let me be alone," I clung to her arms and she nodded.

"Let's go down to breakfast then," she grabbed my hand and I followed my mother down to the kitchen.

We were having boiled eggs mixed with broccoli and rice. When Eric's eyes flashed to my face it occurred to me that everyone would have heard me screaming and if they hadn't they would be able to tell I had at least been crying. I sat between Aurora and Belle and almost regretted it since the seat was directly across from Eric. His eyebrows were drawn together with worry as he watched me.

"Can you stop staring at me, Eric," I requested softly. He narrowed his eyes but went to watching the steam rise from the smooshed innards of eggs. I grimaced at the thought of all the fats in the egg yolks that I would be eating. I reminded myself that if I didn't eat soon I would end up in the hospital so I took a deep breaths as we waited for Phillip and Tiana to sit down.

"You excited to see Anna today, Belle?" Aurora asked.

"Ya," Belle said half-heartedly before suddenly smiling, "I dropped another pants' size today!"

"That's fantastic, sweetheart!" Aurora gave her a hug. "I'm so proud of you." I watched the entire exchange and a part of my stomach twinged to have the same praise. Tiana collapsed in the seat next to Eric.

"Phillip said to start without him," she informed us as she scooped the eggs onto her plate. Eric's eyes flashed as I grabbed the spoon from her when she was finished.

"Taking the bull by the horns," he muttered soft enough that Aurora wouldn't hear. I glanced at her and it occurred to me that while my adoptive mother was slightly naive, she was not stupid. She knew exactly what happened between Eric and I; she knew what we tried so carefully to hide from her. I sent Eric a glare as I scooped some eggs onto my spoon. I felt my anxiety begin to rise at the thought of eating the eggs and small voice in the back of my brain began to scream insults at me in Gothel's voice. I clenched my eyes shut as I put the spoon in my mouth and swallowed. When I opened my eyes Aurora was beaming, Belle looked like she wanted to hug me and the shadow of a smile lingered on Eric's face. The moment was ruined by the doorbell ringing. Belle shot from her seat.

"I'll get it!" she yelled. I slowly followed her to the door, tense as I waited for whatever happened next. Belle threw open the door and I flinched at the girl on the front stoop. Her strawberry blonde hair was pulled into two long braids that accentuated the strip of platinum that she was born with. Her green eyes glimmered with an inner light and her smile seemed to light up the room. I would recognized her anywhere.

"Hey, Belle!" she squealed as she hugged the brunette. Belle laughed and pulled away. Anna looked over at me and her face fell. I flinched at the pain that filled her face as she stared at me.

"Elsa."


	9. Chapter 9

"Elsa," Anna breathed and I gave a small smile.

"Hi, Anna," I took a small step forward but stopped in confusion when Anna's face twisted in anger.

"Elsa Arryn Winters!" She smacked me across the face. "How dare you?!" Eric came running from the kitchen to defend me but I held up my hand to stop him. I deserved whatever Anna said.

"Anna, I'm sorry," I said softly as I put my cold hand against my cheek. She glared at me breathing heavily for a moment before confusion slowly bled into her eyes.

"What happened to you?" she asked quietly. "You look like you haven't had a decent meal in months." I looked away and scratched at my wrist. I could tell her. I could say, 'Hey Anna, I left you alone in the foster system and got neglected, beat, and raped. Now I'm anorexic and self-harm. How has your life been?' I couldn't say that and I did what I do best. I pushed her away.

"Go away, Anna," I said softly. She flinched as if she had been struck.

"What?"

"I said, go away," I fought the tears that were building behind my eyes. Don't feel. Conceal, don't feel. Anna took a step back.

"Do you even feel bad for what you did?" Anna's voice was so full of pain that my sisterly instincts pushed me to pull her into a hug and never let go.

"I regret it every day," I murmured before turning and rushing through the back door. Tears streamed down my face as I ran but I didn't look back. I ran until I was dizzy. I crouched down until the dizziness passed and I could see were I was. I was somewhere along the river, where I was I couldn't tell. I continued along the edge of the river for about a quarter of a mile before I heard something that made me pause. Someone was crying. I listened for a moment longer before wiping the tears from my eyes and pushing through the brush. In front of me sat Jack Overland.

"Jack?" I said softly. The boy froze before quickly wiping his face and turning to me.

"Elsa!" he said with a fake smile, "Fancy meeting you here!"

"Why are you crying?" I asked softly. Jack's smile faltered but he caught it quickly.

"Haven't you ever heard, El," he joked, "crying is good for the soul." I blinked at him for a moment before walking over and sitting down.

"That's the same as me," I lied. Jack and I stared at the river for a moment.

"You are really bad at lying you know," Jack didn't look towards me as he spoke. The only sound for a few moments was a gaggle of geese migrating south.

"I'm fine," I tried to keep my voice steady but it betrayed me and cracked. Jack glanced at me with a gentle smile.

"You ever been to the falls?" Jack said as he stood up. I shook my head and he helped me to my feet. "Perfect! Follow me then!" He took off away from the river.

"Jack! Slow down!" I called. Jack stopped and threw a smile over his shoulder.

"You have to keep up with me, Snowflake," he laughed. I gave a small smile as I sped up and ran after him through the woods. We walked for ten minutes in what felt like a random direction before I heard it.

"Jack, is that?" I asked softly. Jack grinned and grabbed my hand. My cheeks grew warm at his touch and I glanced down to hide my blush.

"Come on, Lady Icicle," he started to run again and I struggled to keep up with his long strides. Jack ducked under a low hanging branch and pushed his way through a holly bush and I followed carefully after. I blinked as we came out to see a large waterfall. The water cascaded down the hill and splashed into the pool beneath it, causing a froth of white bubble to form on the surface. The pool was surrounded by red stones coated lightly with moss and vines that had dipped their roots in the fresh water.

"Oh, Jack, it's beautiful!" I exclaimed as I rushed forward and stood on one of the rocks on the edge. Jack chuckled and slipped his shoes off.

"Want to go swimming?" he asked, dipping his toes into the water. My mind immediately flashed to the scars covering my body and my hand touched the one on my face.

"I-I don't have a swim suit," I stammered. Jack laughed.

"Ever heard of skinny dipping," he smirked. I jumped away from the water.

"Of course!" I said. Jack cocked his head to the side.

"Why?" he puffed out his chest. "Are you intimidated by my manly physique?" I laughed nervously.

"No," I struggled to find a way to stay clothed and have fun, "I just really hate being touched." I twisted my hands nervously.

"Elsa," his voice was full of pain, "It's gonna be okay. Let's have some fun instead." I looked at the white haired boy and shook my head, tears starting to fill my eyes.

"You don't understand," I couldn't let him see, I didn't want him to see how broken I truly was. He already knew I didn't eat, any deeper secrets and he would leave me out of disgust.

"Try me," he walked over to me with his dorky grin. I bit my lip.

"You already know, I don't see why you bother asking."

"I feel like the…" Jack took a deep breath, "the eating disorder is only the tip of the iceberg." I looked away and stepped back.

"W-what would make you think that?!" I stammered, subconsciously pulling my sleeves down around my wrists.

"I've never seen you in anything other than a sweater, you hide your wrists at all costs," he listed slowly, "and you bury razor blades in the woods." I flinched at the razor blades part.

"What gave it away?" I whispered staring at the pebbles under my feet. Jack rubbed the back of his neck and let out a deep breath.

"Takes one to know one, I guess," he blurted it out and red tinged his cheeks. I blinked in surprise. Carefree, reckless Jack Frost self-harmed?

"What happened?" I asked taking a half step towards the frosty haired boy. Jack sat silently for a full minute before I worked up the courage to sit down next to him.

"My sister died," his voice was so full of pain that a part of me, the part that had not been crushed to nothing more than anxiety, wanted to wrap him in my arms and never let go. I reached out a hesitant hand and patted his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled softly. Jack shrugged.

"She had been… sick for quite a while. I'd known that she was going to die somewhere inside, but," he stood up and shook off the cobwebs of the memories. "it's over now." I stood up and glanced at the noonday sun.

"I should go back," I murmured to myself.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Jack asked carefully. "Obviously whatever happened is something hard to face and sometimes it's nice to have someone who hasn't already decided it's your fault." Jack spat the last bit as if he had personal experience with the situation.

"No," I whispered. "I don't want to add to your issues." Jack nodded but I could see the worry in his eyes. With a farewell I made the long walk home.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm done with another chapter! YAY! That took longer than I thought it would. Anyway, I had this fanfic that I really liked called "Let's all go to high school!" and I don't know who it was by or where it went but my bookmark for it is gone and it is no longer on my favourites list, so if you know what happened and could tell me that would be nice.**

**Also I feel like giving a book recommendation.**

**Hold Me Closer, Necromancer by Lish McBride.  
><strong>

**The goodreads page for it ~ / book/ show/ 8041873 -hold- me- closer- necromancer**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I know it's so short but I had to get this out. I said I would have the next chapter up by Christmas.**

**Soooooooooooooooo...**

**If you celebrate Christmas: MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

**If you don't: Have a fabulous day!**

* * *

><p>ANNA'S POV<p>

I stared at my sister's back as she ran from me. Her words echoed through my head sending pangs through my body. I know I should be angry still but the moment I really looked at her I found I couldn't. She looked awful. Her clothing hung off of her frame and her eyes were haunted with pain. I felt like seeing me wasn't the only thing that she was dealing with.

"Anna?" Belle poked my shoulder. "What was that all about?" I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my cardigan before looking at my friend.

"I'm not quite sure," I said honestly. I had been mad at my sister for leaving me after Lawrence, our fourth foster parent but I don't know anything about Elsa's life after. She never answered the letters that our social worker was supposed to give her.

"Why did you hit her?" A tall boy with shaggy black hair glared at me from the entrance to the dining room. I took note of his tightened neck muscles before I responded.

"She kind of deserved it," I spoke slowly hoping to not antagonize the boy.

"She has been punishing herself for everything that has happened in her past for years. She payed for whatever she did to you just by being alive," he scoffed. I blinked at him.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice laced with fear and confusion. The boy turned and walked back into the kitchen.

"Check her wrists the next time you see her," he threw over his shoulder. I stared after him for a moment before turning to Belle.

"What happened to my sister?" I asked fighting the tears building behind my eyes.

"I'm not the one to tell you," Belle said softly turning away from me. "Let's go play a board game or something upstairs." I narrowed my eyes slightly at her avoidance to the conversation but nodded and followed her upstairs to the dayroom **(A/N: M****y word for rooms with lots of skylights and windows, though it might actually be a thing... not sure).**

* * *

><p>ELSA POV<p>

I slid the back door open and stepped into the kitchen, Eric and Tiana sat at the kitchen table,

"So I do what is in the parenthesis before I add them together?" she asked. Eric nodded and seemed to be about to say something before he noticed me next to the door.

"Who was the girl?" he asked in a monotone voice; I knew him well enough to recognize the anger in his body language. I grimaced and tugged at my braid.

"Is it okay if I don't tell you?" I said to the chair in front of me. I heard the scrape of a chair and Eric placed his hand on my shoulder. I flinched away and Eric placed his hands up defensively.

"You should know by now that I would never hurt you?" He said softly.

"Just leave me alone, Eric," I muttered trying to step around him.

"You can't keep running from your past," he spoke as gently as he could but I could still hear a snarl. "Who is she?"

"She's my sister!" I shouted shoving Eric away. He stumbled back, his eyes wide.

"You have a sister?" the shock in his voice made me flinch.

"Yes. We were," I paused, "separated when I was nine." Eric nodded slowly. "Where is she?" I asked. I almost wanted him to say that she had left, or that she didn't want to speak to me but he didn't.

"She is in the dayroom with Belle," he told me before taking a deep breath and sitting next to Tiana. I headed out of the room and up the stairs.

When I peeked into the room I saw Belle and Anna playing a strange form of two person twister, except they kept collapsing on each other in laughing fits. I gathered my courage and stepped into the room.

"Hey, Belle," I scratched at my wrist and took a breath, "Anna." The redhead looked up at the sound of my voice. her eyes fell to my hands and she stood before rushing to my side and pulling up my sleeves. The moment she saw my scars she dropped my wrist like she was burned.

"No," she murmured, fear, hurt and worry blazing in her green eyes. "They told me that you were happy." Tears built in her eyes, "They told me you were better off without me!" I flinched at her yelling and turned away. I remembered being sent to see them when I was nine and whispered softly:

"They told me that I was putting you in danger."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well isn't that dramatic. I almost feel like I need to introduce a character that has a fantastic sense of humor to lighten the mood a little.**

**What do you think?**


End file.
